Saturday, January 8, 2011

2010 Blog Collection

January 07

2010

"Happy New Year" to you all. I wish 2010 the year of happiness, healthy, and wealthy. Those who failed from last year, this year will be yours. Think positive and life will be positive. That's why you are what you think you are. God bless everyone~
 
Special words to ;
 
Mom and Dad - "I love you always."
Emmy - Best sister of the year.
Sue - My best friend ever. If i was a man, i would definietly marry you.
Sooji - Nomu Komawo~ Uri neun Chingu bajo? Na no jinja joa~
Ji Hun & Sun Jung - I miss you guys a lot. Hope we can get together again in Korea very soon!
Okaboo - When i will see you again? Where the hell on earth are you now? Nomu pogo sipo!!!
Chisato - No matter where you are, i'm still thinking of you.
Too - Thank you for being on my side all the time, no matter what.
Pook - Thank you for keeping your love for me this long. I'm thankful for that.
P'Kelly - The only senior friend i respect the most. Thank you for being a very good listener.
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DongBangShinKi - I wish there would be no disband for you guys. Stay with us Cassiopeia!!!
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To everyone - Cheers!!!

2009 Blog Collection

March 20
"Friend" - Is it difficult to make friends? The answer is no. Is it difficul to have a good one? The answer is yes. Even if the effort you put into friendship is always the same, but the outcome turns out different way. Why is that? What is actually inside people mind when it comes to "friendship". It would be nice if I could get into their minds so I won't be blind.
 
Someone who is thoughtless with you, will you call her a friend?
Someone who plans on what to do with you next, will you call her a friend?
Someone who stabs you at the back whenever there's chance, will you call her a friend?
Someone who goes against you all the time, will you call her a friend?
Someone who talks real bad behind your back, will you call her a friend?
Someone who greets you with a big smile but something else is inside the eyes, will you call her a friend?
 
If you know she's really thoughtless with you, will you still be friend with her?
If you know she's with you because you have what she wants, will you still be friend with her?
If you know how she talks about you behind your back, will you still be friend with her?
If you know .....
 
If your sense tells you this person is not worth being friend with at all, will you still be friend with her? The thing is "if only I listened and followed my own sense, i wouldn't have to be in this kinda situation." History always repeats itself, i bet it's true. It will keep repeating like that until there's big change on it. And it's time to make a change .....
 
"I will let 'her' go."
 
April 03
"My Soul My Seoul 
They said we learn a lot about a person who we travel with. What if we travel 'alone'? I guess we will definietly learn more about ourselves in the way we have no idea we are such. Did I plan to travel alone? Hell no!!! Then why didn't I cancel the trip to Korea when my friend couldn't go with me anymore? I don't know... What do I know then? I only know I have to go there even I am alone. I was doing according to what my sense told me to. and bingo! ... 7 days later I know why ...
 
It first gives me the feeling like i'm hanging myself out alone in downroutes like London, Paris, or Frankfurt. As a crew, being alone on some downroutes has become a kind of 'rountine' to me. It's part of the job, part of the life as you have no one around you all the time. This trip should be more or less similar to life at downroutes except I've carried my broken heart along with me. Another form of 'trust' has broken again and it seems only me get affected from it. What a poor monkey~
 
People asked me why Korea? I don't know why 'Korea' but I know I have to go to Korea. Not to live, but to visit often, to see from a distance, to feel it in my soul. Don't know if all by myself in Korea will do me any good. Thought of a huge distraction would come along when I was actually there. What is it I don't know. It's hard to sense anything when the heart is broken and the sense is blind with sadness. What I did was to follow my little 'sense' I have left.
 
After 2 days alone in Korea and I have discovered something clear, comfortable, reliable and secure. It was not big at first but it did become something huge in the end. I have just lost a friend but I have found new friends. It's funny how life treats you this way but somehow I love how it ends. The end of one part, the begining of a new part. Sounds good. No one else knows what it is, only I know what it is. It's like I have given myself 'rebirth'.
 
Strange but true, how 4 days friends have finally shredded away all my sadness I carried with. Without realising it, a new friendship has formed itself silently and slowly. They have the eyes I want to see, the mind I want to open with, the ears to really listen and the understanding to give. If only I had more time, I would definietly spend with them. Now I know why Korea ...
 
I would like to take this blog to thank you to 4 people. Without these 4, I don't think "it" will happen to me this fast.
 
To Min Jung~
Jinja Komawo for giving me chance to know Ji Hoon. ^^ You are definietly the one who starts all this you know that? ^^
 
To Ji Hoon~
I said it already in the card and I will say more here. The time you spent with me, your patient, your willing to listen to understand, your generosity ... thank you for all of this. I'm looking for more next time I'm in Korea. Joa? Grae, kaja~
 
To Sun Jung~
You are so kind to me jinja. I know it's cold there but you hanged in there for me. ^^ I love you for that. Besides, you have good level of understanding people. That's what i'm looking for in a 'friendship'. Remember what we talked in Dunkin Donut for Gu Jun Pyo poster? ;) I hope it will sound in your head whenever you need advice. We will definietly have a good time together on my next Korea!!! So Aja Aja!!!
 
To Sooji~
Ya!!! Have you turned on Arirang Channel sometime? There's a time when Arirang Channel put the campaign ads about the channel itself. It says " When we ask people what they think of when they are asked about Korea. "Kimchi", they said. "Divided Nations", they said. "Arirang TV", they said." And then they continue bla bla about how Arirang has become part of Korea for the world. Now, if i'm asked to the same question ... well besides, Dong Bang Shin Ki, BigBang, and all other cool stuff, it's you!!! kkk midoba~ you will burst out if you know what i'm talking about. Ahhhhhh~ you need to see that ads and you'll know. Arrasseo? "When I think of Korea, I think of Dong Bang Shin Ki and Sooji!" That's my answer. Joa? hehehe Infact, that's not what I want to say to you though. You know how all of the time I wanna make fun yea? Well, we've been discussing through everything so far. And you know a lot about me anyway. But one thing here, thank you for your patient and understanding to me since it's hard for many to be patient with me or understand me. Uri Chingu bajo? Chingu Bogo~
 
Last but not least ...
 
Thank you for those of you who stop by here and read all my crabs. hehe I really appreciate it. ^^ Come by next time then. ;)
 
To the World ... Peace!!!
 
November 30
Here we go again. Someone said it's a good age. Is it? I have a full year ahead to find out. If you're waiting to read what i've been through for the past year, here it is.
 
Hot issues still go to "friends" and "family". God, i guess my life is all about this; friendship and strong bond but different attitude with my family. Nothing else could make me down like they do . People at work? Hell no. Fake friends? Hell no. Tough day for a change? Hell no. It seems that nothing can do me bad unless i let it to.
 
Early this year i have found another me through the pain from 'love'. A love in a form of 'friendship', a love that creates 'trust' but it's not all to make it happen. A 'rebirth' had then taken place in me. I would say that's the best part in my 31. Lucky me being able to rescue myself through the pain i let it in. Lucky me being able to realise what is what without having to do much of a thing. Lucky me having such good friends with all supports and love through the times. But above of all ... it is what i call 'self-respect'.
 
Knowing what is actually going on in every moment of life, accepting whatever is happening, and expecting the unexpects, are the ascent to life balancing. That is what i always say to people who ask me why i'm this much positive in life. Apart from good music and good friends, 'positive thought' is also a must to have. Through hard times, there's one who always stands beside, who always cheers up, is no one but me myself. Friends are not with me all the time, music can't do me any good sometime but 'positive thought' stays. Don't ask me how. If it's there in you, it's in you. If you don't have it, you don't have it. Or it's always there but you don't notice it. Bring it out then?
 
Thanks to all the pain i've been through, thanks to myself being able to rescue me when nobody can. Because in the end of each day, i am stronger and stronger. That's the best part after the pain. That's the best part of being 'me'.
 
The only wish i would make for the month of my BD is that i can put my thoughts into words and able to write more and more blogs. Wish me luck then.
 
Cheers!!!

2008 Blog Collection

June 18
 
Wow! it's been a longggggggggg longggggggggggggggggggg time since my last blog. Phew!!!  Not much to say though. Wish i could come back and write more. Lost my inspiration in writing for some months now. Don't know why. Hope it happens to all writers somehow? Wanna write everything down but i got stuck, just like that.
 
Ahhhhhhhhh have so manyt things to say, to share it with you guys here but i'm stuck. หัวใจสลาย Anyway, i hope i could make a comeback real soon.  I guess i need a little push to write. And i hope this will be a good start. ขยิบตา
 
However, i do have some great wishes here for the people i love and they are still my great supporters in everything. หัวใจสีแดง
 
To Mom and Dad ~ I will always say this; "Thank you for being patient with this little silly daughter who choose her own way of life without listen much of your advices sometime." And i do hope you will still be patient with me. hahaha
 
To Emmy ~ My life has turned to this point with you are part in it, big time! Both good and bad influences are from you still. Huhhhhhh... tired.
 
To Sue ~ no need to say much? We're absolutely meant to be the best friend ever this world could ever have. No matter where you are, you know we're mentally attached yea? hihihi
 
To Chisato ~ How Indonesia is treating you? If i could have one wish, i would wish to meet you right now and tell you how happy i am to have you as my friend. ^^ Friendship never end, desho? Gambatte ne!!!
 
To Okaboo ~ You're my energy booster! Let's go to Imoya next time when i'm in Thailand. ii desuka? About work, "Aja Aja hwaiting-gu ne"
 
To Jinny ~ With you here, my life is much easier. Thank you for being my friendนะจ๊ะ With all your love and understandings, it makes me a better Monkeyเลย ฮ่าๆๆๆ
 
To Yi ~ I'm happy to hear how happy you are when i'm around. (is it true? hahaha) Glad at least i could make you feel better when you're down. So let's laugh together more, shall we?
 
To Sooji ~ All i can say to you is "welcome to my life!!!" So let's have a good time together. Joa? Yaaaaaaa, kaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ja!!! ^^
 
** No wonder, people above are those who influence me within these 10 months out of Thailand. They have made a big impact to me in good and bad ways, which make me "me" today. So let's give them a big hug สวมกอดด้านซ้ายสวมกอดด้านขวา!!! **
 
To All ~ One last word; "A new Monkey is born."
 
July 07
 
Why do i feel like writing when it's time to sleep? Duh!!! But what to do. I'm afraid i won't be able to sleep if i don't write it out. Yesssss!!! I guess it might come back - my writing inspiration. Woohoo!!!
 
It didn't take me long to think of this topic though. In fact, it has always been annoying in my head for a while now. Point of View at "360 Degree" seems to reflect best of what is going on with my life right now. Basically, it's all what i've learned from many different people i work with everyday and from many people i meet at  work everyday. It's amazing how the job can give you such experiences in everything, you name it.  I'm flattered to be the part of it, really. Besides, i'm very surprised at discovering the other part of me, which i never think i have one.
 
Really, people are unbelievable. They can drive you crazy or make you happy just in a second and it lasts for a second to forever. Imagine you've to face this everyday from many different people. Some of them, really, deserve no mercy even from God. (die soon will ya?) Some of them are just lovely, but only in front of you. (haha thank you b-i-t-c-h, yet coward!!!) Some of them like to dirty joke, thinking it might grab someone's attention and perhaps heart. (Oh yea? L.. L.. Loser!!!) hehehe. Some of them who have no 'common sense' at all. (u call that ".....?") Some of them might be little hard to deal with but adjustable though. (hmmmm ... ok!) There are many more of " Some of them ......." but those are the most ugliest types i'd like to mention here. If you face those people everyday in your life, who will you meet  in the end of the day? Psychiatrist? ... Strange, cuz in the end of the day i'm still happy and laugh my ass off even more. Why's that? Am i one of them also?
 
The answer surprised me when i figured out that i tend to understand  them more than to question on them. "Some of those who deserve no mercy even from God", "Some of those who are lovely, but only in front of you", and "Some of those who like to dirty joke, thinking it might grab someone's attention and perhaps heart" are those who need attention from whoever around them that time. Ohhh ... What a poor person on earth, living with all those negative thoughts in the head like that. I feel so sorry for them, really.(If you think twice, you might find it little sarcastic. Oh well well) What they think they do is right, but in fact is not. However, with my point of view at 360 degree has helped me in seeing them the other way around. "It is becuase they are ... , that's why they are ..." instead of "Why are they ... ?" Does "It is becuase they are ... , that's why they are ..." sound point of view at 360 degree to you now? I would say "Why are they ... ?" is absolutely a point of view at 45 degree, at least.
 
Now, i'm not good at Math and in fact i hate it. But simply look at it and i just love to refer to the numbers somehow. It is because it gives clear picture right away. Looking at the world around you at 360 degree is absolutely better than at 45 degree in terms of happy life and healthy mind, agree? I myself sometimes go down on 45 degree in some cases though, especially a case on people with no 'common sense'. I really can't take it at all with this type of people. But i tend to raise myself fast up to 360 degree in a few seconds/mins/hours, never take up to 1 day. The longer you keep it on 45 degree, the worst.
 
Understanding people help me understand myself more. I've discovered that in fact i just want to live a happy life with a healthy mind. But with those people around, it won't be easy to reach what i want. So what am i to do then? I just twist my thought a little bit to make my world under the category of happy life with heathy mind. And Point of view at "360 Degree" is the answer!!!
 
Is your point of view at 360 degree?
 
August 24
A Year has passed. So far so good!!! To me, i like it here more than Thailand. Basically because I'm all by myself in every situation. I've learned a lot from work and from people here. It is said that life begins at 30. I bet it's true for me though. Apart from everything, i get to know myself more and more. I felt sorry for what happened to me before, being with wrong people in a wrong time. It was all about being so optimistic in life without realising the danger of it. However, it's never too late to discover the truth about everything. The truth about friends, the truth about me, and the truth of all.
 
The truth about friends. A seem-to-be nice and helpful friend doesn't mean he/she is like that. I remember one crew said "We're treating each other good in a flight not because we're naturally that way, but because we want to be treated good as well. And in the end of the day, we can be sure that no one will talk bad about us." At that moment i was like "Really?" I quickly got the image of that crew. "She's talking about herself without knowing it." Of course, that saying did a little psychological affect to my brain whenever i wanted be good to crew in flight. I was wondering if what i'm doing at the moment was naturally me or because i wanted to be treated good. But just a second later i realised that it was absolutely 'me' that way. I was almost distorted from what other people said about stuff. No matter what, i got myself back in time though. To me, if that crew hadn't mentioned "...not because we're naturally that way, ...", i wouldn't have thought this much about it. To cut it short, that crew are not naturally a nice person but i absolutely am. Ha Ha Ha!!!
 
A friend who always tell people to do what he/she thinks it's right. "Hey, do this, don't do that!" "Why don't you ...?" What da .... ? In this case, it's not about they're concerned. It's about how they're not accepting the differences in people. They would want people to do exactly what they think is best. They forget that it's best only when it applies to them, not to everyone. I will only smile and laugh back or stay quiet because i know i won't do much with this kinda friend. They are not in my circle of trust anyway.
 
The truth about me. The truth that in fact i'm a very strong minded but also very sensitve. I wonder if these two characters can actually stay in a person. I guess it's for the good and bad. Good that i will always rescue myself from bad times. Bad that i could let myself down down down from bad times. A Scorpio with self-destructive button is used here. In other words, no one can kill me but me.
 
The truth that i don't and never give a .... about what people think of me; how i talk, walk,eat, etc. I'm truely myself all the time. That's what i really love about being me. However, i do hate myself when i can't stop being so much happy about nothing. I'm just a happy person at anytime. I always have fun in every moment i'm in. I'm a happy Monkey!!!
 
The truth that i dare to think different and make it different. This is so obvious with me. I'm so proud to take this story as example. People keep asking me a lot about what a 30-year-old monkey are doing with younger Korean boybands like TVXQ, BigBang, and SHINee instead of running after a handsome guy, get married and have kids. I can't believe some of my friends even said to me " you're god damn 30!!! They're 10 years or more younger than you." Well well, first of all, it falls into catagory of "people are differret" or "individual preference" that i love doing what i'm doing instead of doing the same as what somebody else is doing. Second of all, it falls into catagory of "life factors"; that good guys are not born for me yet or i'm too independent to be with just any guy. Third of all, it falls into no catagory but a simple thought of "So what? When i'm 30 and i can't listen or go crazy with my favourite TVXQ,BigBang, and SHINee?" Music is all i've got to live happily in my own way. Apart from music i still have good friends, fitness, wakeboarding, etc. In stead of having a good time with them, i should do what? Don't tell me to do what other 30-year-old people do? What other 30-year-old people do? Apart from those who have such a good life at 30s, the rest they might married a wrong guy and afraid to break up because of a talk of the town? Looking around for a guy to get married with and  fancy of a good live after? Dating with many different guys just to find the right one? Hmm... i then absolutely feel sorry for those 30s. They seem to have much to do. But with my TVXQ,BigBang, and SHINee, life is so much better!!! To say it in a very confident way, i'm 30-year-old monkey but i don't look 30s. Compare to other 30s, i look 20s!!! Why's that? It is because of TVXQ,BigBang,SHINee, good friends, fitness, wakeboarding,etc. Duh!!!
 
Another example will be about the thought. I did have a bad experience in relationship. But because of that, it got me up to this stage, the stage of freedom. Up here, i get to see "choices"; whether i will live my live like others, or my way. This is very similar to my previous blogs when i said "Seeing how other people live their lives and i just know how to live mine". I found out that if i'm going to be with bad people again, i rather be with myself. From this thought, i started to see what i can do for myself when i'm all by myself. And those things, i can't finish all in a day. I'm not saying having boyfriend or getting married is not good. But it's just not for everyone. If you only knew what i'm trying to say. Single or committment is exactly the same as left and right hands. They're both important but different functions. If you're right handed then u tend to do things with your right hand. The same with the left. I'm now comfortable with being single while other people are happy being with someone. If only they knew about this fact, they then wouldn't ask such stupid question; "why don't you have a boyfriend?"
 
The truth of all. Is that bad friends are still around. Bad crew are also around. Bad day comes once in a while. GF transport still drive you around which takes an hour. All good and bad are all around but i'm still haven't found how to finish this blog for now. But after the clouds, hopefully  all will sound. Bless you all for reading it up to now.
 
**A new year of living here has begun.** Yheeeeeeeeha!!!
 
December 07
Wow! Time is absolutely amazing. Another year has gone by. It flies just like that. But I am still having fun exploring things out there. If people think too much about getting old, then the only good thing about it is experiences. They refer to everything that takes to be 31. Everything it takes for a 20 or 25 year of age to complete, just to be 31. As time goes by, I don't really feel much of getting old but opportunity to see more about things; people, places and myself. Life could be different without me being me in a foreign land like this. I wonder how it will be like if I am not where I am and not who I am right now. But that's not the point though. The point is I am who I am and where I am that takes how I am right now. hehehe let's hear what I will say next. I sense that this blog is gonna be the longest one ever.
 
To sum up my life between an age of 30 to 31, it is obviously about people, places, and myself. All of these have made a major impact in my life from November 1st last year.
 
The People I'm talking about are friends, family, colleagues, passengers, and TVXQ! Really, I guess I might be one of the luckiest people in the world to have such great friends around. Friends who always support me and understand me as who I am. Friends who always listen and at the same time ‘share’ their sadness and happiness moments with me. I don’t need to say their names out here. They know who they are when they read this anyway. And I won’t waste my time to mention about ‘fake’ friends here. Only ‘true’ friend will do. To friends, no matter where you are, near or far, you know we’re together anyway. Cuz We’re mentally attached!!!
 
Even though my family is not the greatest support of all, even though we all have different attitudes toward life, and no matter how stubborn ass I am, they will make sure they are with me when I need them. That’s the true meaning of “Family”. I hope they know that deep down; I do care and love them even when I never show it or say it at all. But in the end of the day, my only wish is to see them in a good health and happy. To my family, without you, my life will be worse. But without me, please make sure your life will go on.
 
Every day is different cuz of different crew. I have to admit that they make quite a big role in each day up there in the sky. Good crew good day, bad crew bad day. But because of this, I learn from them. I learn from the good and I learn from the bad. It is said that crew with some certain nationalities are not good to fly with at all. I found it as a false somehow. Though it might be true, but it doesn’t apply to all of them. Some are really different from others. I guess “attitude does matter”. It’s all about attitude that makes people different. It’s about individual that makes individual stand out. That’s what it’s all about. To my colleagues, you make my days colorful with love and hate, fun and boring, but this and that, I do learn a lot from all of you. I learn good from the good and learn ‘good’ from the bad. That’s pretty much interesting point about this job though. Hehe.
 
More than a hundred people I meet in a day, but I never notice that I’m noticed by many of them. I don’t really feel much when hundred eyes are on me when I work because I’m there to work, not to do ‘a show’. It’s an honor to meet such good passengers, not to mention those don’t-know-what-to-call passengers. Seeing happy faces are leaving the aircraft, hearing many different saying goodbyes and I could tell it’s one of the good flights even if the crew is bad. I’m used to when people looking at me with a happy face after the flight. However, there’s one flight when one passenger, instead of saying goodbye like others, he asked me if I was all right because I looked not happy the whole flight. “Since when my face shows I’m not happy?” I kept asking myself like that, but not to forget to give him a big smile back and wish him a good day and a good journey. Second later I laughed at myself. I might have looked strange to the other crew who saw me kept laughing at nothing. But nobody knows, I laughed it off that time because I finally found one simple thing in life I missed on that flight. One simple thing I was born with it. One simple thing I tend to forget but yet is reminded by others all the times, “happy soul” I call. When you appear to be fun and energetic all the time and people seem to recognize you from that, once you think you wanna be different today because you need to spend time with yourself sorting something out, people won’t let you do that unless you’re alone. I sense that if I’m happy, people around me will be happy. If I’m sad, even though not all people will be sad with me, but some definitely will. To passengers, beside good and bad crew, you also make my days colorful with your caring and careless, love and hate, fun and boring, but this and that, I do learn a lot from all of you. Thank you and see you again on board. ;)
 
One of the biggest influences in my life is ‘music’. Since I was born, I was so crazy with International Music, mostly English and Japanese. Until 2-3 years ago, I got to know TVXQ when I was running on the treadmill in the gym. I’ve heard about them before but was not that interested at all. Up on the surface, they look like a normal Korean boy band. But my first impressions that time were their voices, dance choreography and songs. With friend’s help, I get to hear more of their songs, see more of their performances and I’ve to admit that they’re really a very talented group which stands out in Korean Music market until now. And within these 2-3 years I listen to no English songs but only Korean music leading by TVXQ. I’m ending myself up happily every time I listen to their music,” The music of great memories between TVXQ and Cassiopeia.” With their music, I can feel the warmth, love, fun, powerful, relaxing, caring, encouraging, everything it takes to make me a happy me today. To TVXQ, thank you for being born in the world of music. I will definitely keep up with your great work as long as you’re still TVXQ.
 
Having to be in many different Places is somehow a good influence to better thoughts and ideas about life. Different life in a different place under the different world of a different one makes such big different days to a person. Either 24 hours stay or 7 days off in a place does make me see the world in many different views. My two top favorites destination are Japan and Korea. They’re where I can relax myself and feel secure at the same time. It might be the reason that I used to be crazy a lot about “X-Japan”; a Japanese Rock Band back in 1996 and ‘Yoshiko’ with ‘Motoo’; Japanese friends from Melbourne back in 1997. That’s why Japan for me is more than just ‘Japan’. 10 years later I got myself introduced to Korea. With Korea, absolutely it has something to do with TVXQ and some other great music from BigBang. It goes beyond just passion on music when I get to know more about Korea from ‘Sooji’, my only Korean best friend. Strange but true, my love for Japan and Korea has something to do with music and friends. So when I go to these two countries, I tend to feel more than ‘just’ to visit. And I know myself that I will keep going back to Japan and Korea whenever I have chance to. Japan and Korea; the place where my ‘soul’ is connected!!! 
 
“Me myself and music with friends” Do you think you know yourself well? Do you have the reason and answer to what you do? All this, if Mom and Dad spend most of the time in their lives raising and watching their children to grow up to be one the world survivor, I then feel the same to myself but in a different way. Looking at myself through time, especially through bad time, I see another me inside me. I see how strong and willing to fight with anything. I see it in me. I know that I turn to be a great warrior when my back is against the wall. Just don’t push the button! Good and bad are inside me but I learn to manage them well to suit the situation. It might not make sense to people if I say apart from my family, ‘music and friends’ play big part in my life, especially through good and bad time.
 
Lately, I got myself into a difficult time due to my deep believe in ‘friendship’. I was mad when I found out it was only me in that friendship. The more happiness a friend could bring along with, the more painful could happen to me when that particular ‘friendship’ lies on nothing but the lie. People might spend days, months, and years to recover. But for me, as soon as I found out that he or she is not worth my friendship, I don’t hesitate to end it in just a second. It might not be the talk of the town about it. I might not show anything wrong on my face at all, but deep down, he or she is totally out from my circle of trust.
 
Strange that, through good or bad time, it is music that lifts me up, me myself with the self-healing, and a few true friends who are really with me in any situation. I then feel the love of myself and the love of others to be the love of all. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh how wonderful life is, to be surrounded by me myself, some great music and a few ‘true’ friends. That’s all I need for a little happy monkey!!!
 
And that’s all about my life since November 1st last year. Now what’s next? Keep it tune then. We’ll see!!!


2007 Blog Collection

August 23
This is the last night for me in TH. It's been almost two years on my working life. Good and bad things i've been through. Surprisingly i've realised how lucky i am to learn all those things, meet those people, feel those unexplainable feelings. I truely grew up through times and i just love it.
 
All these times i've been thinking of this sentence reflecting from my thought; "Seeing how people live their lives and i just know how i will live mine." That tells almost everything.
 
My new journey will begin in less than 12 hours from now. I'm going to where i never think i would go. I'm about to do thing i never think i could do. This is one of the most amazing decision i've ever made in my entire life. Sounds good,isn't it? I'll take the chance to give myself an opportunity to explore the world out there. I want to know more about the world out there, the people out there, the whatever out there. Most important is that i want to learn more about myself. To learn more about myself, to learn more about the world, to learn more about people, are exactly what i'm looking for. I'll definietly come back with a very interesting idea of everything. Cool!!!
 
Wait & See. New monkeyANN is approaching!!!
 
P.S. Thank you so much for those who always stand by me whenever i'm up or down. Special thanks to Mom&Dad, Emmy, Chisato, Okaboo, Sue, Toon, Mook, P'Nok, Gift and those who share the thoughts with me. All of my students at ECC. You all are raising me up to be a better person than yesterday. I love you all!!! Thank you HP and ECC for giving me a chance to work with. Thank you!!!
 
(((Special *curse* to those you-know-who, who ran into my life and ruined it in whatever ways. I don't need to mention who you are. I wish all of you in a bad bad time, sad sad life. All the worst just for you. That's all i can say. "What goes around, comes around." Never have i forgive you for what you did to me for the rest of my life!!!)))
 
November 01
I just can’t believe how time flies this fast. Another year has just gone by. Here I am on my BD somewhere in the world where I never thought I would be. It is said that our fates have already been written. What we did do, do and going to do are all set and waiting to be completed through times.
At my 30 years of age, I don’t physically feel much different really, but it does on my psychologically a lot. I guess I’ve learned a lot through the past few years on good and bad. I’ve mentioned it before, haven’t I? Looking back and I’m really very glad that I did not just make it but I made it. I’ve survived through bad things that have been happened with me. Both that I went right into it and the one with came right just to me, which is now the most valuable experiences to hand me in a better and brighter life tomorrow. It really does. Being born as a Scorpio has helped me a lot in everything. Even I am surprised seeing myself handling things quite well in a very difficult situation which I emotionally have no idea how I am gonna make it through. I’m really getting stronger everyday.
Someone said life begins at 30. It is true to me I guess. That is because things have completely set in totally different way. I’m not supposed to be where I am now. I’m not supposed to do what I’m doing now. But I’m here and I’m doing it anyway. And I found it very lucky to be here and doing what I’m doing right now. It’s not that obvious at the moment though. But as a Scorpio, I’m able to see and sense things that are on the way. I know right away what I have to do just to deal with it. And I know I would be fine.
The places I have to go and the people I have to meet right each day will definitely form me to be either a better or worst person ever. This is what challenge me the most, whether to play as a good part or bad part. I always have a choice of that I know. As I have mentioned on my previous blog, I said “seeing how people live their lives and I just know how I will live mine.” It’s really very practical here at where I am. I’ve met people who I have never seen such in my life. No they’re not bad in a way. But they’re just not right for me. However, I learned from them. I learned not to act, say, think, talk like them. Somehow I get this thought right in my head that people sometimes show how cheap they are just in front of others you know? It tells right away from their attitudes and it’s very easy to see that too. I’m getting to really love seeing how people reflect themselves when they talk, look, and think about the others. They just have no idea they’re selling themselves very cheap in the public. I wouldn’t say how they dress tell much of the things because it can’t be told by only that. But obviously it is through everything else they show. Seeing that every time and I’ve to look back at myself if I’ve ever done the same things as they did or not. You may think why I don’t just tell them right away their mistakes but believe me or not that not everyone will listen and accept their mistakes right away. Once in a while they look like they do listen, but later it shows right away that they have not listened and accepted it at all. That’s sad huh? So why should I bother telling them that? 
Living abroad, especially in a place like this is not easy at all. The real life will begin from this point and I know it. I will take every step carefully and make not the same mistake as before. My life is in my hand and I will manage it well this time. But I won’t be able to do it at all without all the supports from my family and friends. I do appreciate your love and care for me. Please be noted that without you all, I wouldn’t be here at this point. Thank you very much to you all. Watch me from here. It’s Monkey’s time!!!
Special Thanks to ;
Mom and Dad – You two are wonderful and the greatest of all in my life. I love you.
Emmy – What a dedicated sister I ever had. No one will love me the way you do.
Sue – Soulmate we are and you knew it!!! 5555
Chisato&Okaboo – You Japanese rock my world!!!
Toon/Mook/Gift/Bee(Australia)/Pook/Wantanee/Koko – Thank you for sharing good&bad times with me through the dark ages. New age has just begun so I promise you we’ll have more fun on the way. Keep it tune ok? ;)
To all other friends - even though you're not the big part but you're also important to me. Thank you for still thinking of me.


2006 Blog Collection

January 18
Two things here ; My Graduation Ceremony and New Job for real. First of all, thank you very much to Peggy and Charlie who took me to ABAC BANGNA Campus pretty early in the morning for this Faculty Photo Taking and special thanks to Pop/Ko/A for rushing to the campus just to take picture with me. That day, Jan 14, was my happiest day so far. I'm very stunned just to know that there are people who love me and want to come to congrat me on that day. Believe it or not, for the real day on this coming Saturday (Jan 21), all my loves one will come at the same time. I will be very happy to be with them all. I can't believe i have graduated from ABAC. In fact, i didn't want to graduate at all. I love to study and be with my friends but i really can't stop moving on my life. It's quite challenging to live not knowing what will happen next. But i know i'll do my best.
So i had only 15 days holiday after leaving HP. Here i got my new job. Geeee... lazy already. Oooops. :P Well, this is gonna be my second job but officilally my first real job as a Language Tranning Officer/Overseas Coordinator. So far, is good but not quite sure about the future? Yea yea .. let's see. I'm so dying to further my degree on ELT/TEFL. I wish I could be ABAC Teacher one day. bla bla whatever ... so sleepy now. I'll come back with better issue next time. Keep it tune!!!
P.S. This coming Jan 28 is my Dad's birthday. To dad, "Happy Birthday" I love you so much that i can't love any guy anymore. Well, i know you won't see this message cuz you don't play internet but i still want to tell you that what i do, i do it for you so ... stay longer here and don't just go yet cuz i don't think you time is coming soon or what. Stop smoking ok? You always piss me off when you smoke. Why? Cuz i can't breath!!!! >_< Stop Stop Stop smoking!!! " I love you Dad"
February 06
Been away for long, did you guys miss my blog? No? Not at all? Oh..come on!!! Okay i'm back with a very interesting topic today, Friendship. I gotta say that lately, i feel so happy being with friends around. They are my colleagues and i love them all. Now i know when some said that we might get closed to friends at work more than friends from college. That is maybe because of we see friends at work everyday and it's easy to get together after work? Well, not really though. Cuz i still hang out with friends from HP. We really like each other. 'Pin' is my classmate from ABAC but i didn't know her when i was in ABAC. She gets into HP before me. I didn't notice her until she said hi to me and asked me if i was ABAC student. That is how i met her for the first time.
Pin works at HP head office but i work on-site at KrungThai Bank so during 5 months i was working for HP, we didn't really talk much. Two weeks before i quit HP, that was the time we started to talk more and hanged out pretty often after work. That is much enough for us to finally be together on December 31'2005 to countdown to the year 2006 together at Swensens Ice-cream Shop, Siam Square. It was only two of us there and no other friends. I didn't want to remember what happen to other friends but i can say that i was very happy being with Pin that day. She is very easy-going girl,just like Toon. I now know that i will be happy being with these kind of people ; kind, patient, and not thinking too much. Monkey is funny but sometime is difficult to be with? :D I know Pin likes me because i am fun to be with but she also notices me when i am down. I can feel she really cares for me and i love that. This what makes it big different between a friend and a boyfriend, right Pin? :D:D:D hahaha ... shall we get into Lesbian kinda relationship? Think about it,huh?
Well, i would like to thank you for being my friend. I honestly tell you that not many friends stay with me long and i understand that if you might have to leave someday for whatever reasons. My weakness in having any kind of relationship is that, i treat them the way they treat me and the same as i think of them the way they think of me. In other words, i will be with you as long as you want me. 'Talking' is the most important tool to be friend with me so don't forget that. If you happen not to like me sometime, say it quick and i won't do or say what you don't like. ;) For me, living the present is what i shall focus on, so ... let's have fun. ;)
April 06

Life in Chaos

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ exhausted. Give me a break!!!
May 31
It’s been almost two-harsh-month for me. Life gets harder and harder not because of what but I myself am able to see things wider, comparing to the past.  The same mistakes should have never repeated but it repeated. Obviously with relationship, the most sensitive part of being me is somehow cracked in times due to subject changes without noticed. Never to put the blame on anyone but me, who easily led people into my mind heartedly. Not to discuss on who’s right or wrong but anything is possible in a relationship anyway. And I have to just … face it and move on. Acting like nothing is going on at all. What am I expect in a relationship? If I say no then probably I lie. Actually I do expect of something but if you ask me now I’ll say no. Yes, “NO” – no more.
However, this bla bla is not what my blog today. I’m not going to make a speech of how a heart-broken feels like but I’m going to write about how it can be cured in a second. Interesting? Maybe not for some of you, but for me I can say that this is the truth of life that is always there but it’s me neglected it. This always happens when I find these out; that no one left for me, no one is really there for me, a trusted friend is not a real trusted one anymore, guys who always want one thing from a girl (no offend but it’s true – if you’re not one of them then don’t take it), tough work kinda life, and all stuff that make me feel so left out. Surprisingly, it wipes away when I see this two people’s faces. It’s Mom and Dad!!! Then I can’t believe how the heck I let those shit into mind while it should be them who I am to concern. So what? Just Mom and Dad that’s all this blog about? Nah .. don’t just overlook it. Can’t you see it like I see? That is “NO ONE” in this world for you love you as Mom and Dad do. They are always there for you no matter what. I’ve several times witnessed in how struggle they have to meet to just support me in many ways. I don’t think I can do the same way as them if I am them.
Well, I write this blog up because I want to keep it here as my reminder of not giving myself too much in any relationship, but to focus more on giving Mom and Dad a happy life. One thing I know is that if I’m happy, they will be happy. And to be happy, I should not think too much of those shit or care too much of those who treat me like shit. I should tell myself that a shit is a shit and I should not try to change it into a better shit? :D No, and I should not try to change it into a better thing/one.
Alright, I would like to dedicate this blog to my Mom and Dad who always there for me. Thank you, really. You are making me a better one everyday. And I love you so …

Have a nice day guys,
Ann

June 06
At first I was afraid, I was petrified. I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you’ve done me wrong and I grew strong. I learned how to get along and so you're back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that, that look upon your face. I should have changed my fucking lock. I would have made you leave your key If I’d have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me. Oh now go, walk out the door. Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh not I, I will survive Yeah, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive. I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give. I will survive.

It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart. I’m tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart. And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself. I used to cry but now I hold my head up high. And you’ll see me with somebody new. I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you. And so you thought you’d just drop by and you expect me to be free, But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me, Oh now go, walk out the door. Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh not I, I will survive. Yeah, as long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive, I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give, I will survive. 

I’m not dedicated the song to a boyfriend, but to a group of friend which I at first found out that they were not for real and I avoided noticing that natural sense. Love blinds me repeatedly and so I end up being bruised. There’s no point to go in details what went wrong. Let say it is better to end it immediately so that we don’t hurt each other anymore. I hate to say that who’s right or wrong in a particular situation. What are we judging it from then; my perspective or your perspective? If I say it my way then I’m right and if you guy say it your way, you’re right. That is why I love to stay in the middle for any relationship. Say other half is for individual preferences which whatever reason should not be touched. Accepting others’ thoughts and ideas is what I always do when I’m in any relationship. Never to judge them based on my kind of standard, ironically they do judge me in turn. In fact, I’m not influenced by people around and that upset some people I guess. This is what I will never understand why; how can you live your life comparing yourself to others? Nothing can be compared to one’s life, one’s thought and one’s decision. Many times that I am in a difficult situation and I also know that I always have a choice to end it but I don’t do it. Comparing yourself to others and silently compete along with each other appearance, ability, social acceptance, sexual attractive, fame and money all kind of stuff. Forgetting to see deeply in your own self of what you have already got. Strange isn’t it? But I see it a lot in people around. I’m writing this as I am very individual and independent person so I hardly follow others, especially when they want to hurt me or thinking of me not in a good way or in other word, they misjudge me. Even so, I don’t give a damn about those competing stuff when I am always pulled in this game. The last thing people should do is to try to change me into the way they want. It is impossible to do so and that’s why I am out because you cannot change me in such ways. I am I and I do respect that you are you. If this relationship does not work out in the way you want, then finish it as I have already finished mine to you. I cannot stay any longer while I know that you pretend to do and say it just to keep me in so you can play more games. It is even worst when I realize how you talk behind my back. That’s not good thing friend do anyway.

It’s not you guys false and also mine. We’re meant to be only for this long as God’s will and now it’s time to let go. I wish you guy the best of everything and I mean it. It is because I feel so good I’m out and back on my own track. However, thank you for the good times you guys have given me. At least we have fun together, right? Last thing here for you guys, I must thank you really for giving me wider screen of life. I’m sure I can always do better than this.

To other friends who are not involved in the story, please don’t be panic. Or if in the future it might be you in some ways, then you should know that I’m not that difficult to end the relationship with. Once I found out you’re not for real, I’ll just leave. It’s simple like that.

To those blog visitors who might have different points of view from what I have here, remember that giving out an opinion where you know only little is not any useful, but thank you anyway.


September 25
I thought i will never write any complaints about people no more. Thought it will be more interesting to write something more beautiful. There are of course beauty people and or situation around me. But i guess they are not more enough to make me write it out or to keep you out from what it is in the real world. In turn, it's obvious for many other cases that i think it needs to be told here as at least it will help shake some of you up. I know people come from many different places, but i believe that when they are to live together in peace, there are manners to follow or at least to be more ... delicate and tender to each other. Some of that i came across myself with i think it could have been more subtle if he/she had taken little more time to think of what to say or do to others.
Since bad times have passed me by. I became more aware of a "sense" in any situation around. I've learned not to move that much and so i see many are moving so clear just like that. Then i know where i should step on. Guess these are much of already-benefits to those who are a good listener. I've seen many ironically conversation with not knowing where they have taken from and to. It's wierd but good to learn from. So that i myself will never do that to the people i love.
When a politic conversation takes place, and they mention names of a high rank in some department. One goes, "who is Mr. A?" Other goes, "what? You didn't know him? How come. He's Deputy of Financial Department. OMG!! I can't believe you don't know him. Gee.. don't let anyone knows that you're my gilrfriend/friend. You're so stupid not knowing about this." The one who asks " :( " Well ... are you one of them? Do you always think yourself as BETTER than others all the time? Do you always take your preference into the conversation and make yourself an expert out of the topic?
He's playing computer games. She's watching television. They both sit near each other but their eyes are not on each other. Too good program on TV so she didn't notice the hot noodles which she's gonna unwrap it to the bowl. To her leg, "Ouch...hot" and accidentally raised her leg up and hit the table - "Bang". Here he goes, "Shhh... shut up you bitch!!!", without turning to see what happens to her. Well.. are you one of them? Do you always yell at others before asking what actually happens? Even you know the reason why it happens, do you really understand it or will you still yell and blaim it as stupid thing because you are not the one who do it?
She got into a wrong job and she already felt bad about it. Didn't get pay for month. (((Ring))) "Hi, how are you?" "I'm good, Thanks" "How's your job. Did you get pay yet?" " :( No, not yet" "Oh, you're sutpid being cheated and you didn't know. Poor ya'" Well .... are you one of them? Do you always giving such a supportive sentence to your friends/love ones? Do you feel good when your friends/love ones are sometime having such a bad situation while you're not? Do you feel good seeing one's suffering so bad and they can't even say a word to you? Are you being supportive to them?
More and more i've seen each day and i don't understand why. It's maybe tiny little crab, one will think. But to me, it's big deal. It's like watering plants if you want it to grow well. Feeling is not able to built itself in a day. I'm saying those tiny crab above here may sound nothing if it happens once but it'll be a big problem when it gets piled up.
Up to here, I know i'm not getting to the point i actually want to say in this blog. Because my point is too simple and too short to say. So i'm trying to pass on real cases up there. Think of when someone talks to you real bad and or passing on their bad attitude to you, how do you feel? What are you gonna do about it? Wel, all this is that i hope you guys please "watch your mouth and mind your attitude" when you're talking to anyone. You're not God or better than God. You're just an animal where your weapon is your own mouth and attitude. Talk and think good leads you to more-than-better atmosphere in any cases. To me, i won't stand those bad mouth and attitude in any case if i have never done that to them first. I believe people get what they do, but if they didn't do it - they don't deserve it. But before all these happens, again we should all watch our mouth and mind our attitude well. If you can't do it, please be prepared to have it all back sooner or later as what it is said that what goes around comes around. When that time comes, you're not allowed to be upset or angry cuz you're one of them.
P.S. My opinion on The Coup of September 19, was the wrong thing to do BUT was on exactly the right reason to do it.
October 01
"Tommy", a young 14-year-old boy living in Vermont is one of my unbelievable friend from the chat for some years now. We don't chat often but we do chat from time to time. And no matter how long we'd been away, we get back on our track when we chat again. For me, it takes much of the feeling to write about anything. I'm not a professional writer. I don't write when i don't feel like it. Tommy is one of this site big fan. Said he liked all my pictures and blogs. Said he liked it when i wrote about people. I even used to tell him i would write about him one day. But i didn't know when cuz as i said i will write it only when i feel like it.
Honestly, it's hard to believe if what people say on the chat is true or not. But who cares? People anyway like to hear what they like to hear and believe it with all their hearts until they one day found out the truth about it. I'm not saying that what Tommy told me was a lie. Or even if he did, i would never know about it and there wouldn't be anything happen following through just the chat. But i like to point out some of the invisible pass-on thought which Tommy and i have shared each other. Some internet friend can really be a good one when you're click to them.
Tommy, this issue is just for you, and what i'm writing it about is all based on what you have told me. i don't know if what you have told me is true or not, but no worries. Just keep in your mind that this writing goes when what you have told me is only true and that influence me for this blog today.
Begining with what you said you never lie but one thing you did lie is when you helped your friend in a wrong way, which you believed it was the right thing to do for friend that time. Admit yourself that you did for the thing you 'did not do' just to safe your friend from 'the truth', i'm telling you once again that it's not actually a help, but invisibly wrong supported to your friend. Remember when i told you that keeping nothing out from your family help strengthen relationship between you and your parent. I mean it. So do tell and share everything to your Mom and Dad. If you're my big blog fan, you'll remember i have one blog issue about why i had to turn myself back into family circle for good. It's for the same reason.
Besides, i envy you. I always wish i was in school right now. I always wish i was still young. I always wish i had good friends and family just like yours. I'm telling you what, i'm not that smart as you said. But what you did and are going to do in a few days, months, or years - i did it all before. It may not be exactly the same track but close enough for me to tell you to go on the right way if you ask me. Look at wider screen, some of my other friends, who are older than me, would have told me the same thing as i told you. Not everyone will tell you to go on the right path and the right thing just to grow up being good adult, but good freinds will tell you, remember that.
I have to thank you for helping me at least seeing my past in you. Thank you for sharing me your stories. Thank you for keep telling me how good you feel about me. :) Thank you for everything. And i will be more thank you if you can keep being a good boy for your better future. Just remember this "Life is half spent before you know what it is". This quote is always my favourite. So, if you don't want to waste time in your life, you better stayin' and livin' on the truth. Good Luck.
P.S. I decided to write this blog when you told me you had to go telling the truth to Jeff's parent. I gotta tell you that i'm very glad i can at least help you back in your family circle of trust. :)
November 01
Time flies really. I feel like i have just put my 28th birthday blog some days ago. Now i'm 29 and i feel young still. But somehow i think i will never look at things the same again.
So .. as usual, i went out on Oct 31 just to feel the first minute of Nov 1 with some special friends from TESOL - Chisato and Ed. Well, thank you really for being with me on my 29th birthday. Being with friends is what i call the moment. Anyway, got home at about 1.30am and that i had to wake up at 6.30am for my 9am class. :O Couldn't really believe i can wake up you know. I was drunk still on my way to work. Vodka that got me!!! But really, thank you for those of you who SMS me birthday. I'm so happy to read it. Sergei, thank you for the flowers. You know it's supposed to get to me by noon but i got it right by 4.30pm, hehe. Toon came to see me at work and we had Fuji for late lunch. She got me a big surprise by ordering Toffy Banoffy cake for me. Thank you Toon!!! I had a great time stucking in the traffic with you on the way to Cafe Democ though. I got to say that this 29th birthday party was absolutely one of the best. I love every moment of today.
That's it for the day!!! I don't mind getting older but i do mind what i've been through for this one year. I guess i got too many breaking up things with people around, like boyfriend, and trusted friends. That's how i never gonna look at things the same again. I kinda wonder why people always think of having sometimg in return, especially in a relationship - friends, lovers, whatever. Cuz i never think that far. Who knows if there's tomorrow anyway. So why bother thinking in advance, right? Hmmm ... this things are complicated. I'm not gonna talk about it though, headache.
So so so, ...  speacial thanks to Mom and Dad, Emmy - my mood-swing-sister, and her friend Sergei. These people have big influences on my 28th though. I wish my 29th to be as simple as it could for god sake!!! 
Cheers,
Ann 

2005 Blog Collection

April 24
 
woohoo...Hi all my friends, it's ANN here and this spaces.msn is really cool. I love it. It's easy to update and stuffs. What i like the most is 'blog' ... cuz i can write whatever i want to and here i can practice my writing stuffs and you guys will know more about me. So ... leave me a message saying anything :D ... let's share a day ;)
 
May 23
I'm out of town. So i'm out of reach. :) Well... i reall miss writing my stuffs here and i miss all my friends here too. This message is to EVERYONE who's reading it now. Life is something new everyday ... maybe not for you but it is for me. I gotta say that after i graduated, i got realy lost of what to do next. It's not really about job and all that but it's about the real life out of the University. Man, you guys may say 'so what, get a life' but for me,...the feeling is like i'm breaking away from something, something i don't even know what to call it. bla bla bla... this is me all the time. Alright, get anything from this message, you? Well then keep reading :D 'God Bless you'
 
June 30
Hi all. See the title? 'Irresponsible' Yea yea ... that's how i am...that's how i do for last week. I got one project to do, is translating about 100 pages of a new product in Thailand and i didn't do it on time. As the result, many people have to struggle from what i have done and so i feel not really good but not that bad. Anyway, the thing is that now the job is done and when it's done, things are getting better and better. 20 hours per day for 5 days that i had to sit in front of the computer and tried to finish it. I got pretty much backache and my eyes are ..oh. guess i deserved it,huh? Well... let me go sleep for a week and i'll come back.
 
You guys ... take me as an example. If you have anything to do ... JUST DO IT!!!
 
See ya'
 
ANN
 
 
July 24
woohoo i'm back. It's been a while since my last post here. How you guys doing? I'm doing pretty well with eveything can you believe it? Really... i'm very happy with my life now. I got many good friends and i'm going to have a good job and if it's not then i'm still fine. Who cares? Here's my new project!!! is that i will write about a friend whom i know for a period of time and or a long long time friend. I think it's good to introduce my friends to the others so that we are all friends. See who's here for the first one. :D
 
Tadaaaaa..... Here he is. His name is Ko. He's cool guy. I know him for 3 years now. He's my friend since the very beginning of my coffee shop. As you can see right there, he's a body builder and he's sooooooooo hot!!! Just not for girl!?? Ko likes to call me 'Anchovy' and so i call him 'death fish' in return. Haha..how's that sound? Ko is one of the Metrosexual guy who pays attention to only cooking and going to gym. He has turned himself to badminton lately and he does it very well. We are the same type of people ; organized and friendly. We've been out together many times and in the picture was at The Emerald of Buddha last Thursday. We went there with many other friends, had so much fun. It's his first time on water ski (knee board) today and he did it quite well since he has already a good sport skill. Said he would like to go back there and tried on wakeboard next time. Haaa...wicked!! Ko and I like to take picture cuz we think we are the most prettiest thing in the world when we together woohoo! Take a look at my photos and you'll see his brightness and cheerful guy.
 
And this is Ko. My friend for today. :D How's your friend like? Share it here then. Alright, i'll come back with other friend next time. See who's on. ;)
 
Have fun,
Ann
 
July 26
woohoo... monkey is finally into job as translator/interpreter at HP Thailand. Wish me luck cuz i'm going to dedicate myself to work (what a fool) yea i'll do :P Well...the job will start right next Monday. We'll see if it works out cuz monkey is in the business now ... do or dare!!!
 
alright alright ... back to the point. I'd like to introduce one more friend for today. She's luvly luvly woman. Toon, she's my classmate from ABAC. We've been through hard times together, obvioulsy with Math subject!!! Haha.. we repeated Math many times,right Toon? And Toon says," oh tell me about it"!!! You know in ABAC, 'Math for Business" subject is hell for all Arts students!!! :P We're suck at that. Suffering for years just to pass it can you believe it? Toon is very nice and friendly kind of person. She talks sweet and sincere to all, helpful and great personality. As you can see from the picture down there... a professional look with a monkey me :D:D:D friends need no discrimination,right? One thing i'm impressed about Toon is that she can be with me for long. Why? Think about having monkey as a friend and you'll know what i'm talking about. ho ho ho :D She's opened to everyone, seeing from my last party with another group of friend and she made friend with them in like 5 mins wow. Toon had her self-confident to be with others. ah ... beautiful her. This is why she's my friend for today issue. Toon...you should write something here just to let them see how sweet you are. :D
 
Okayyyyyyyyyyy... monkey has to go off the town now. Will be back with 'friend for today' when monkey's in BK next time. ;) you guys keep cool!!!
 
August 17
Hi All,
 
I'm here at work writing new blog for today. Don't worry cuz it's not during office hours. Well...i got to say that my first job is not good, nor bad. It is because i don't know whether i like this field or not, as a translator(come to work and i found out that it's not really a Secretary .. which is good :P). The work actually is not much about English Communication, though it is, it's more likely to be in specific kind of work area like Finance, Credit& Banking which i'm not very good at all. Still i can do this but just no inspiration on it. I might be looking for new job in the next 3 months, see if i can find one. If not, then i'm gonna go back to teach and run my coffee shop as usual. Actually, if i don't work, i have my own business to take care anyway. However, to work with other people in an organization somehow make much different and hence, give more experiences and improve human relation and all that.
 
Alright, that's it for today. See if i have good story to share with you guys in the next couple of days. ^^
 
Have fun,
Ann
 
August 29
 
Hi guys, I'm back with sport issue this time. Tell you what, wakeboardning is what i am now in love with. I love it when i slide it on the water, feel like heaven. I go to 'Lake Point' Sport Club every Sunday with tons of friend who are absolutely in love with water sport too. We have so much fun together there. I'm proud to say that yesterday was my first time to finish in a round woohoo! Here i have some picture right when i was at the starting point. I haven't tried the board wiht the boot yet. I think i like the one without a boot, feel more free. As you can see from the picture, that was the round i finished it :D Wicked yea? For those of you who stay bored at home, sitting no plan - well i recommend this kind of thing to do on the weekend. Better go with lots of friend so it'll be more fun since you'll see how your friends fall down from the board in such a funny way haha :P take me for an example hahaha!!! But yea, i fell down much enough to not fall again and there i am to the finish point. Monkey Me - wicked!!!
 
Mike, thank you for your supporting in everything. You're wicked English guy and nice friend i've ever had here.
Mook, call me when you're free on Sunday. We better hang out since i don't see you for long.
Toon, i know you're busy with your work and have never checked yet my blog about you ... give it a try to log in here man?
Those of you who are my friend in Thailand, give me a call if you wanna join me a great Sunday :D
And for those of you who are not in Thailand, i know you have already loads of fun thing to do there so why waiting for?
 
"JUST DO IT"
 
Have fun,
 
ANN
 
September 12
hehehe ... wakeboarding lover's here,yea? Well i went to Lake Point again yesterday. Took all-day ticket since i won't go there for a period of time. Pop, the most wicked guy in our gang is leaving to California to have a job training for 2 months. He's flying this Friday afternoon. Without him, we won't be able to go wakeboarding with loads of fun as usual. So, we plan to go back to the Lake Point again when he's back which is around November. Gee, he's gonna miss my birthday, grrrrrrr. Anyway, it was so much fun yesterday as i could go on wakeboarding with boot and yea it's good but i still like the one without a boot :P  
 
:D that's the update stuff about wakeboarding, my absolutely wicked hobby. Will be back with this issue again next time i'm right there. You guys, keep cool. I'll be coming back with a hot issue soon ;)
 
have fun,
MonkeyANN
 
September 28
Hi Fellows,
 
And who is V.I.P in this sense? Wanna try on a guess? ..... Nah not him. ..... Nah not her. Alright Alright, V.I.P in my sense is one's self. You know, all of us, but in an individual part. Why whould this title be my blog for today? It is because i've seen such a wrong thing that has been going on around, especially my loves one. I'm writing this not to offend anyone,really. I just like to point out something very important that we might have forgotten it.
 
When you're tight with love, d'u see other ways around? I mean ... the other side of it, bad side actually. When a fight ends with something bad which normally happens to the girl. My question is that should a girl make decision to end the relationship or continue it with a little hope that it will get better as he said that this would never happen again. According to what had been done before, it is for sure that it has absolutely a chance to happen again,right? When love blinds you and you can't see how important you are, not to others but to you yourself. When i look around, i see many lives out there having a chance to live and to be happy. Then why would one stuck with some who treat one real bad? I don't think i'll have the answer since i'm not the one who's gonna let that happen, ever.
 
"Space" is what i think is the most important in a relationship. Perhaps it's not for some, i know. But if it's for me then i need it. I hope you all know that 'A Very Important Person' is inside everybody. If you can see them and listen to them, do what they really wanna do not do because of others, life is then yours. Of course i used to do something to please others? But then i see there's no point when you have nothing left for yourself. It's such a shame of how i treat my V.I.P. like. Since then, i'm more honest to this 'a very important person' and so here i am - a happy little monkey ^^.
 
I would like to dedicate this blog to my sister who has a strong faith in love and never give up. I do wish she had the best of everything, deserving what she has been trying to do for a long time. God Bless You!!!
 
take good care of your V.I.P,
Ann
 
October 11
Hi friends,
 
Obviously if you think twice, you'll have better thing come up. I have noticed myself lately, that almost everything that has an impact on my mind, i will think it twice. This may have more or less concern to the issue on my last blog - V.I.P Person. Well, how am i gonna put this i'm not yet sure since it can go vague and no point if you don't get what i'm trying to say here.
 
Say when somone makes you feel real bad with or without reason, how d'u react? Will you right away get angry or do something else? Well, what i think in turn, is that i will look to the whole thing before and after someone has done something to make me feel bad , then i will make a choice. Cuz sometimes people like to see when one's getting angry and sad since it maybe make them feel better in what they don't have and they never will. That's bad though. I choose not to get angry or anything if my conclusion to the whole thing is that , it's only me suffering in the end where the one who create it has already gone somewhere. I question to myself " who the heck they think they are to make me feel like this?" and the answer is " No one but a loser who like to drag someone with them when they're losing something and that's it"
 
I get my mood back in a sec when i have my conclusion on that. Hell no, drag me nowhere loser? Here i listen to my V.I.P on what its idea about and i definietly follow its way. Easy like that, based on the theory of "Only you can hurt yourself" It is so so true on it. So when i think twice about a thing, i come up with not to care those bad shit people trying to fill it into my mind. I believe in individual thoughts and i think people should respect that. Even no one will, then at least a V.I.P person should definietly know what to do next - is to keep a good attitude inside and stick to it.
 
I can picture myself doing this - walking through crowded and say ' out of my way' . Metaphor to what i said earlier about how to do with those who put all the bad shit into my head. May i repeat? OUT OF MY WAY!!!
 
Note :
those bad shit - why are you this and that? bla bla.. I think you're .... bla bla ...
loser - never have such thing before so tend to use it in a wrong way like 'power', is easy to misuse.
 
P.S. I know some of you might have a disagreement on 'those bad shit'. You'll say that oh ... it maybe a good point to listen to them so you'll improve yourself. Yeayea. I only take good point then, the rest is to junk mail box.
 
Regards,
MonkeyANN
 
October 17
Who are they?
They are absolutely everybody, no matter who.
 
Where are they?
They are around you, really.
 
When they start to kill?
Obviously when you feel down, they will come and get you. In other words, on you when you're down with or without intention.
 
How do they kill?
Usually with words, sometimes with the eyes
 
Why do they do that?
To see people down, that's what Serial Killer LOVE to see the most. Someone mistakes or tragedies - yummy.
 
Example : A mistake of your boss/colleague and he/she goes "not me i didn't do it". However someone has to has responsibility on this and guess what " It's you"  By saying " I think it's him/her. I saw/heard him/her..... "
 
People who only read the newspaper on some issues and able to say a thing like they are in the situation. Prime Minister in a city and Local People in an area where people get killed everyday.
 
What else? Well, up to here, i have a pop up in my head that talking about bad stuffs actually cause nothing but creating and expanding the bad attitude toward others. However, i think that it depends to the reader's ability to really differentiate what is what and not to mix it up and got the message all in a wrong way. So i like to leave this blog with one funny quote from my forward mail (Thanks to my colleague - K.Nek) since it sounds so true.
 
Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears.
Sometimes when you are in pain, no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes when you are worried, no one sees your stress.
Sometimes when you are happy, no one sees your smile.
But ... FART just one time ... Everybody knows !!!
 
November 01
 
Another happy day of the year has come, is my birthday. So this blog is going to bla bla about what happened today. Starting with 6am got up and urgent left to work about 7am due to an Internal Meeting at 8.30am. Was not that traffic though so i got to work right by 8am - not bad.
Dad was here last night cuz he had to go to the hospital today for his monthly check. Couldn't accompany him due to the early meeting so i let him on his own. It should be Emmy who takes him to the hospital but it seems that she doesn't want to - for some reason. However, i think maybe she would come to see Dad later - but she didn't. What a poor Dad but i couldn't leave my work just for it though. So i called Peggy to be with him instead. Luckily, she came (Peggy and Dad is not in a good relationship). Glad that she came anyway.

At lunch, me and my friends at work ; Micky, K.Pop, K.Preecha, K.Arm, Pong, Nek, Kae, Mod, and Poon, gathered up at a Thai restaurant nearby office for this special lunch. We were having a very good lunch and of course a very good time. Thank you really to Micky for lunch sponsor and many thanks to K.Pop for luvly ice-cream. :D Now that i see, having lunch with the project team members has given me such a good impression at work and better relationship as well. That incredibly made the whole afternoon work environment of a more enthusiastic on work. Believe it or not. :D

Left work at 5.30pm to see Dad at the hospital. Unfortunately, he was there whole day since the doctor was busy and so. Peggy was with him only for an hour cuz she had her business to do though. That's ok - good enough. Seeing his tired and hungry face is making me sorry for him. I don't understand much about his giving up on smoking since he's been strictly told by the doctor not to smoke anymore. But he is such a naughty dad - as usual. There i had little fight with him when he wanted to have a little smoke while we were waiting for receipt. "Dam Dad - you're buried yourself with that and you know that" bla bla.

About 6.30pm, me and Dad walked to see Peggy at Zen (Japanese Restaurant), at Siam Center. We three had dinner together. Peggy and Dad adjusted themselve well for not fighting again. Actually, i think they got sick of it and so they didn't talk about stuffs leading to a fight. :P The dinner was great and i had my birthday happy - wicked.

Present - for this year present, i had a nice bag given by Emmy, beautiful roses from Nek, and solid perfume from Peggy. There will be more present when my best friend(Pop) returns to Thailand this Sunday. ^^
  • Thank you Emmy. You're the best sister ever. Eventhough you always piss me off and i can't believe how you do that quite an often. Sister Sister,yea?
  • Thank you Nek. You are the first person ever who dare given me roses since i really hate flowers!!!. Now i like it only if it's from you. haha. But hey, 3 months with you here at work i gotta say that i learn a lot from you. Though you're 3-4 years younger than me but not for work experiences,yea?
  • Thank you Peggy. Though you're an evil in my eyes but i'd like to look at you only in a good way which is quite a little? But hey, we're sister and that won't change it. With you, i learn how to be with every-second-mood-swing-person, just like how you are - unbelievable!!!
Thank you all.
Ann

November 16
That is simply me. Sometimes i don't know why i have to be this hard on some pretty easy thing, probably the easiest thing to do in the world -  is to follow the heart. I guess it is because i am weak and that may lead to many mistakes in my life so that i have to tell myself not to follow my heart. If it has happened before then i don't think i like it to happen again. So ... better live life carefully.
See, my kind of thinking is obviously different from most people. To do or to feel of whatever it is, is pretty easy but then i always think about the outcome or what may bring with that - i suddenly step back a little bit, listen to only what my head will come up with and forget about the heart for a while.
I wonder if i am kinda following to what my heart says, things will get worst than it is now. And i don't wanna see myself crying over that - it's such a waste of time. To prevent that kind of things to happen in the future, my choice is to listen to my head, not heart. And the head always say 'walk away'.
I believe i am very lucky to meet many good people out there. Happy to meet them all but then watching they walk away without me saying anything. I can't give them what they want? Say, i don't wanna live my life in a mess kind of relationship. When it happens like that, my brain is kinda shut to think any further and so i see myself acting stupid. To whatever happens to my life now, i can either take it and give it a chance, or do nothing with it and let it go away. Good to be in the middle i guess?
 
Last thing here, i want to leave a message to these people ;
1. Michael - Miss chatting with you. No one in the world could be my perfect brother like you. Thank you for being my brother. :D We need to talk real soon. I need your help.
2. Shawn - You're fake and no matter what. I don't believe you anymore. Bye for good.
3. Henning - Have i told you i never agree with everything you said? In other words, i don't like you at all.
4. Morgan - I miss you a lot, especially this hard time on my first month of being 28 years old. Where do i go from here?
5. Alexander...the Great??? - I'm very glad i met you. Your 35 16-year-old students will be lucky to have a teacher like you. 
6. " ....." the one that can't be named - "I do really hate you. Stop talking about yourself. I don't want to hear it anymore."
7. Me myself - you're making me CRAZY. Why don't you get a life?
 
December 15
 
It will be just the other ordinary day for me today if i didn't receive the phone call from my friend telling that one of my friend has just died in the car accident. Well well,.... it seems that i can deal with this kind of life lost since my Grand Ma passed away 3 years ago. That time was a BIG SHOCK for me. I wouldn't be any surprise if i will have to lose some more.
 
'Ake' was a bright young guy who seems so talented in many ways ; obvioulsy as a social dance teacher. He was very friendly and funny guy i have ever known. He's one of the good looking with his always-smiling-face. Last time i saw him was like months ago before i got my first job here at HP. I could feel how he had grown up and had plan to do many things as he told me. .......... They said he died immediately after the crash and he was drunk. I probably have nothing more to say here but i wish he was in heaven forever. 'Good Bye my friend.'
 
For me, this kind of feeling has returned again and there i figure out something about life. That there is nothing greater than 'dead'. I know 'love' is the greatest but when we talk about reality of one's exists - is not that it can compare to.  Michael, once i know that you lost your Mom and Dad in a car accident, i feel real bad and i mean really bad. I don't believe in God or anything in this world since things are not put in the right way and it's not fair for us. I know i'm about to get out of the point here but i just want to say that ... dead reminds us how and what we will live the rest of our life like. I don't mean that we have to do extremely stuffs like taking drugs, trying on raping, married whoever you're with that time, those kinda bad stuffs that one can really do, bla bla.  But ... believe it or not - see if you can link to what i'm going to quote here ...
 
"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."
 
Last thing here, i have a message to all of you who happen to read this blog. "One life has lost but many lives still have to move on. So every steps you make, watch it"
 
Good Luck,
Ann
 
December 26
I believe that everything has its end of the road and i am about to end my first job at HP. What a sad but what a new challenge ahead and i have no idea what it is. It has been 5 worth months to work here at HP. I have learned a lot from it. I would like to thank you to everybody in KTB-CMS Project ; Kim Hoon, Mickey, K.Pop,  K.Pijit, K.Preecha, Pong, P. Arm, Nek, Poon, Kae and Mod for being such a good teacher for me in many ways. Many times that conflicts get into the way, but because we have such a strong project manager as Kim and everything flows in a good way. This makes the team stronger and everybody feels good about each other. I will remember everything here and how each of them appear to me. They are all unique and have their own best task and this has pushed me into a good way of working. However, there is the end of everything and so is the project. Kim, Mickey, K.Pop, Nek and me are leaving the project while everybody else stays. I remember what my friend told me, 'It's the end of one thing but it's the beginning of the other thing'. I think it is true in a sense. People are leaving for better thing,right?
 
Not that i have new job just yet. But it's good to take a break and really ask myself what i want to do next. Here is the big turn of my life. I'll see.
 
That's it for this blog - dedicated to everyboby at KTB-CMS. Wishing you all good luck and happiness through the years. I'll see you around ;)